Confessions of A Cheerleader
by Shuffle Princess
Summary: "Why? Why do we cheerleaders always get the bad part in the stories? We're human beings as well! We have feelings, too!" -Mikan Sakura /MxN/


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gakuen Alice and the characters used.

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**Confessions of A Cheerleader**

Written by **Shuffle Princess**

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**January 15; 04:38PM**

_(You have one new message. To reply immediately, press 1 after the message. To delete, press 2.)_

_Hey, Mikan-chan. Uhh, how are you? Are you okay? This is Nonoko, by the way. Call me back, please. We're worried about you! You were so excited about being a cheerleader! And now, it's just... It just turned into... I don't know. But anyway, please check your homephone because we really need to know if you're alright. Hope to hear from you soon. Love you!_

Without hesitation, I pressed the number 2.

**;_;**

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!" I squealed in delight as I saw my name on the list that was posted on the Bulletin Board. "OH MY GOOOOOOODDDDD!" I turned around to see my friends staring at me with that plastered grin on their faces as well.

"Congrats!"

"Congratulations!"

They showered me with beloved greetings and honestly, it felt so good to hear somebody congratulate you.

"Thank you, thank you so much!" I jumped up and down, not concealing the childish girl in me to show. "This is the happiest moment of my life!"

"I thought you told me before that the happiest moment of your life was when you met me?" Hotaru asked, her brow raised, a smile playing on her lips.

I giggled. "Okay. One of the happiest moments. Happy?"

"Not really." She shrugged, but her smile was still there.

"So, ready for more stretching then, girl?" Permy winked at me. She also passed the physical examination with flying colors. That's one of the best things she has, she's so confident about her skills.

"Nah, actually, I need to eat. All those stretchings we did the last week were so intense, I felt like my legs would just break apart."

Nonoko and Anna laughed in unison.

"I felt like I'm not a virgin anymore." Permy joked and we all whipped our heads in her direction. "Uhh... Something wrong?"

"Are you?" I asked the question we all want to ask.

"Am I what?" She questioned back, her brows arched in surprise.

"Are you a V?!" I put my hands on my mouth and pretended to be shocked, but I was actually trying to hide my grin.

"Of course!" She smacked my arm for asking a stupid question. With an eyeroll, she muttered, "I may look like a bitch, but I am one sane person. Duuuuh?" She clicked her tongue on me in irritation.

"Hey, you're not a bitch!" I patted her shoulder while laughing.

"Oh, it's okay." She rolled her eyes again and laughed. "Come on, ugly. Let's get you something to eat."

"I'm not ugly!" I argued, but my laugh made it sound less intimidating.

"Right." Hotaru shot back sarcastically.

"This calls for a celebration." Anna chirped with her sing-song voice.

"Yeah!" Nonoko seconded, nodding. "Mikan finally got what she wanted!"

"To be a cheerleader!" I squirmed and faced the Bulletin Board again, feeling proud that my name is listed on that '_Cheerleaders who passed the Audition last Wednesday_' paper.

I let out a pleased sigh before running to my friends on our way to cafeteria.

* * *

**January 15; 04:56PM**

_(You have one new message. To reply immediately, press 1 after the message. To delete, press 2.)_

_Mikan, ugly! This is Sumire as you know! What the hell has been going on with you? Why are you not attending classes? Is it because of the jerk? My God, Mikan! You told me on our first day of cheer practice that you won't let anyone ruin your life! What the hell are you doing? Isn't it the same as ruining your life? Call me back and I'll knock some sense on your fried brain, idiot! I hate to say this, and you know I don't even say this... but... Yes, I *fake cough* miss you!_

I almost pressed 1 with Permy's message. It _almost _melted all my resolve. With that heavy feeling on my heart, I pressed 2.

**;_;**

My heart was filled with excitement and nervousness at the same time. This is one of the things I hate about being a girl. You can feel so many feels in one go! How is that even possible? Ugh. Hormones!

Coach Serina was in front of us along with the seniors and the junior cheerleaders. They were wearing the uniforms already which had me mentally drooling. It looked so cool on them! Since it's just practice, Serina-sensei let the other girls wear their hair down, but when it's going to be a real rehearsal, she's strict about the hair code. The uniform of our cheering squad is red sleeveless top with white outlines on them, a big star logo of our school in front and a short pleated red skirt with matching white outlines as well. The white boots go up to half of your calf with that red strings in front.

They looked like angels with a shower of different hair colors... Angels in red and white.

"Okay girls, line up." Coach Serina clapped her hands to get our attention. We freshman instantly piled up.

_THIS IS IT!_

"We will do basic stretchings and also some basic routines. For two freshman students, you will have one junior or senior member to teach you and practice with you. That session will last for two hours and then I will have to check up on you later team by team on routines. Any questions?" No one said anything. "Okay, good. Now do your best!" With that, she blew in her whistle, grabbed her clipboard and went to the bleachers. Probably going to balance all the members.

I jolted in pure shock when I felt someone hug me from behind. "Permy!" I scolded. "Stop doing that! Seriously!"

"We're partners, girl!" She giggled. "Now we have to find a senior!"

"Hi girls!" Speaking of the angel, she appeared in front of us. Her hair was light pink and she had a cheeky smile that looked so radiant. "I'm Misaki Harada, a senior. I'll be teaming with you two beautiful girls." She gave us a wink and laughed mildly. Her eyes had a shade of red, it's so cool.

"Oh!" Permy looked as if she remembered something important. "You're Tsubasa Andou-senpai's girlfriend!"

She chuckled, her cheeks turning pink, almost the same as her hair's. "Uhh, yeah."

"Tsubasa who?" I asked, feeling left out of the subject.

"Duuuh," Permy with her famous eye roll. "He's the Vice Captain of the team we're cheering on! Seriously Mikan, go do some research before stepping onto the minefield."

Their eyes went to the basketball court and there were the Basketball team of our school. They looked like they were enjoying their moment: being sweaty, playing mindgames (who's faking his shots and who's not), running, shooting some hoops, headlocking some members, screwing their temples with both hands... And laughing. It looked fun just watching them.

"Who is Tsubasa-senpai there?" I asked, trying to find him among the boys.

"There." Permy pointed. "With black hair and a star tattoo under his eye." She faced Misaki-senpai. "I must say senpai, that tattoo is so hot!"

A winning smile came across her face. "I know." She gave us another wink.

"And I like the other raven-haired there." Permy continued and I just watched the Basketball team do their thing.

"Who? I can introduce you if you want."

"That one with the ruby eyes. God, his eyes are so sexy I could swim on them!" Permy exclaimed. My eyes scanned the crowd 'til I saw who she was talking about.

He wore the number 13 jersey of the team.

_Ooh, unlucky. _I giggled inwardly with my own joke.

His hair was tousled and his smirk was so wide it can be distiguished as a smile. Although, he looked so cocky that his smirk still looked like a smirk to me. His eyes were deep red, I was afraid he was one of the demon's spawn scattered on earth.

"Oh, Natsume Hyuuga."

_Hmm, Natsume Hyuuga, huh._

"That number on his jersey isn't just for show." I turned to see Misaki-senpai rolling her eyes. "Any girl who held his attention got bad lucks. And you know what, he has a fan club!"

"Oh my God, I need to join them!" Permy laughed.

"Ew." Misaki-senpai commented and I chuckled as well. "They're like retarded girls who worship him. You wouldn't want to be friends with them!"

"Right." I joined in their conversation. "Don't let a boy ruin your life."

"Damn right, ugly." Permy patted my back.

"But anyway, he's our MVP Player and he's really good at playing basketball. He's a junior and I heard he's the candidate for Captain next year. He's also a scholar." With just those few sentences, I felt proud having to know him even if he doesn't know me. "And some of those University coaches has their eyes on him. I'd say, maybe Tsubasa and his skills are on par with each other."

We heard a loud whistle and we turned to Coach Serina who held the megaphone on her mouth. "Harada and the two kids!" I stiffened. "Go do some stretchings and don't drool over the Basketball team!"

_Holy cow. _The Basketball team heard it and looked at us.

That moment, our eyes met and something pleasurable went down my spine.

"We were discussing about stretchings, Ma'am!" Misaki-senpai shouted back, annoyed. She stretched her arms above her head and turned to face us. "You don't want to be in Serina-sensei's nerves. She got crankier."

"Why? I asked. "Period?"

"No!" She laughed and wrinkled her nose. "It's worse when she's on her period, though."

"Is that about what I heard?"

Misaki-senpai chuckled. "Might be. Depends on what you heard."

"She dated a gay?"

With this, Misaki-senpai broke into fits of laughter. "She dated him for like, four years, and now he broke up with her. Because he's quite confused with his own sexuality. Oh my, that was the talk of the year last year."

"Harada!" Another siren call from Coach Serina and Misaki-senpai started the stretchings.

"Oops," She muttered and chuckled a little. "Ready, girls?"

"Yep," We both repsonded with a nod.

* * *

**January 15; 05:07PM**

_(You have one new message. To reply immediately, press 1 after the message. To delete, press 2.)_

_Girl, this is Misaki-senpai for you. I miss you already! Come back to practice. And you know, Serina-sensei got crankier than ever! And I have to say this, it's because you're not going to practice. The balance is off because you're one of those on top that we have to throw. We need to change formaton again if you don't show up. She's so pissed and the game is in two weeks! Girl, show up, please. I so miss you. I miss our boy talks and all that. If this is my fault why this happened, why you're not going to practice, and I heard you're not going to school as well... Oh my God, Mikan... *a low grunt and sniffle* I'm so sorry! I didn't introduce him to you but... Oh my God, I'm just so sorry! Please, Mikan! Come back. I don't care about sensei getting pissed on us, just come back. I love you girl!_

I wanted to call her back and tell her it's not her fault. How would it become her fault when the only thing she told us were his name and that unlucky number? It wasn't her fault that we just... met.

Hearing her sniff made me tear up. _I miss you as well, senpai. I really do. _Wiping my tear away, I pressed number 2.

**;_;**

I groaned and tried to reach the Math book that I need. Who the hell put this up here in this shelf? I mean, some short students would like to study Math, too! Let me rephrase that. Some short and _not-so-good-in-Math_ students would like to study Math, too! Oh, wait. Another revision: Some short and not-so-good-in-Math students were _forced_ to study Math, too!

A hand reached it. "Here." I heard a low chuckle.

I grabbed the book and with a scowl, I turned around, facing the nice-but-not-really-nice person behind me. My heart did flipflops. Instead of giving him the planned scowl, I found myself a little shy. "Umm, thanks."

"No problem, shorty." He gave me a smirk before grabbing one of the Math books on the shelf.

"I'm not short! You're just overly tall!" I explained, looking up at him. 4"11 for a freshman is good! "Not my fault that my senpai is a freak!" I giggled lightly. He must be 5"6.

"Shorty." He teased and walked away.

"OVERLY TALL FREAKO!" I teased back, the butterflies on my stomach doing multiple sommersaults.

"Sssshhhh!" I heard the librarian hiss.

"Oops." A little giggle escaped my lips before going to my seat.

_Incredible first encounter._

My heart sang a gleeful tune all day.

**-xXxXx-**

"Oh my, the hottie is looking here." Permy chimed.

It was our breaktime from practice. It was also the Basketball Team's beaktime and my eyes zoomed on them – on one person, specifically. The overly tall freak. He's almost the same height as his seniors.

"OH MY HEART!" Permy squealed in her low fangirl voice. "HE SMILLLEEEEEDDDDDDDD."

My heart melted at the sight of his smirk. It wasn't a smile. It was a smirk and it was directed at me. Even if it was a playful smirk, my heart just melted like a butter on a hot pan with oil.

"And he's walking towards here with Tsubasa-senpaaaai." Permy squirmed at her seat and shook my legs. "God, I dropped my skirt."

Misaki-senpai laughed. "Calm your insides, Sumi."

"I am trying!" She murmured. "I could die a happy woman now."

They stopped in front of us. I was mentally jumping up and down and doing some cheerleader stretchings.

"Hi babe." Tsubasa-senpai embraced Misaki-senpai in a not-so-awkward way. You know those people you couldn't bear to watch because they're just so gooeey? They weren't like that.

"Hi." Misaki-senpai muttered and pinched his cheeks.

They looked so cute together, I just smiled at the sight of them.

"Hello, shorty." That chuckle made me crane my neck to him.

I glared, well I tried to! I tried to glare at him with all my might while he just returned it with his smirk. "Hello overly tall freak." I countered back.

"You knew each other?" Permy's tone was filled with surprise.

"Uhh, not really." I said the same time he said, "Yeah."

Permy raised her brow and glanced alternately at the both of us. I could feel my heart hammering my chest. She would interrogate me later! _Nooooo!_

"I met him at the library."

She was about to say something when a whistle cut her off. The Basketball Team's coach held a megaphone on his mouth. What's with the coaches and megaphones? "Come on boys! Flirting break is over!" Several laughs echoed.

"Bye." Misaki-senpai waved at Tsubasa-senpai.

The freak was still standing in front of us. My hormones were driving me crazy. I was in my own time and space with him, everyone and everything forgotten. "Are you stopping by at the library this evening?"

"Uhh, yeah." I nodded. I didn't actually have plans, but guess what? Now I do.

"See you later then." With a wave and that trademark smirk, he strode off.

"Hyuuga!" He was mentioned on the megaphone by their Captain, I presume. "Stop flirting with the freshies and get your ass here!" Loud guffaws were heard through all of the team. Some even rolled their heads back with laughter.

"Wow, Mikan you ugly hag." Permy insulted me but her tone was full of admiration. Her eyes were still glued to Overly Tall Freako. "You got yourself one hot ass." She smirked at me. "One hot, sexy ass."

"His ass isn't the only thing that's sexy." I winked at her while she gaped at me.

"You naughty girl!" She swatted my arm.

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**January 15; 05:10PM**

_(You have three new messages. To reply immediately, press 1 after each message. To delete, press 2.)_

_Message 1: Dummy, answer your phone. I have to get back the library book that you borrowed using my library card. It's due today, damn it. If you're not done with your pathetic locking yourself up scenario, just please leave the book outside your house so when we come to knock some sense into you, I could get it and I swear, my baka gun will be put into good use. See you soon, dummy._

The message left me speechless, but heart-broken. I pressed 2 immediately.

_Message 2: And if you're wondering who is this, this is Genius Hotaru Imai. Yes, we're coming there and I should say you should open your door this time because I'm not going home without dragging your ass with me. Your Mom has entrusted you to me while she's gone. So help me, Mikan. Help me drag your ass out there later. See you._

I was nearly hyperventilating before pressing the delete key.

_Message 3: P.S.: For a person who told me she wouldn't be listening to what others will say, what are you now? You're just one sore loser._

My heart opened up another hole and my tears streamed down. Oh, Hotaru! Before I could change my mind and cry myself calling her back, I deleted the message.

**;_;**

"There you are, shorty."

I stiffened at that familiar voice.

"I was afraid you'd ditch me again."

It was true. The first time, I did go to the library as planned. But... He tried to kiss me and I got afraid. Afraid of everything.

What if somebody sees us? What would they think? Will they hate me? Will they get jealous? Those questions were inside my mind.

"Something came up, so..." I lied, obviously. I didn't turn around. I know I will melt when I see his eyes. I stood there and closed my locker awkwardly.

"Really?" He leaned in close and in that instant, I knew I was trapped. He placed his left hand on my locker door. My heart beat faster. I was about to turn and sprint on the other side, but he had his right hand on top of the locker before I could even turn. I could smell his faint male body spray which sent my senses to heaven. He smelled heavenly.

"Y-Yeah," I stuttered. Taking all my courage, I turned around. I looked up and met his eyes. It bore into mine and I felt weak all of a sudden.

How could he do this to me? How could that one look make all my thoughts undone?

"You can't fool me, shorty." His head dipped a little low, I backed up immediately. My head hit my locker door. It wasn't painful but my whole body was burning with his intense gaze.

"I don't care." I mumbled. "If you'll excuse me," I lowered my head and was about to go under his arm when he snatched my chin and made me look at him.

My knees were so wobbly I had to hold on my locker door for support. "What?" I hissed, at least I tried to make it sound like a hiss.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He asked intently, a frown marking his lips.

"I'm not." I lied again. "I just don't have any reason to talk to you."

Without warning, he pressed his lips to mine. It was short, but my whole world spun on a different wavelength.

"I like you." His words swam on my brain. He made me look into his eyes by cupping my face. "Now you have a reason to talk to me."

That did it. My knees gave up and I was there, sitting on the floor.

"Are you okay?" He asked, astonished.

"Yeah, just give me time to breathe." I hushed him and gave him one sharp bob of my head.

"You are so cute, you know that?" With that, he grabbed my chin again and kissed me. This time, a bit longer. But a flash blinded us and we both looked at where it came from.

There stood Hotaru and my friends, staring at us open-mouthed (except Hotaru. It would take some serious news to make her drop her mouth) at us.

I bit my lip in anticipation to what would be his reaction. It made me anxious. But he just blinked, and then rolled his eyes at Hotaru.

"See you later." He muttered with a smile. This time, it was a smile. Or was my vision too hazy to see it was a smirk?

"Come on girl!" Permy shook my shoulders. "Go back to real world!"

"We need CPR here." Nonoko kid.

"Someone who knows CPR, please come here immediately!" Anna yelled.

I laughed at them. "Seriously, guys?"

"Hmm. Now I can blackmail you." Hotaru smiled smugly at me while looking at her piece of art.

"I don't careee." I sang, my heart filled with too much bliss.

"I could publish it on our school paper." Hotaru: the photographer of our school's newspaper. Crap, I totally forgot about that.

I shrugged nonchalantly, but my insides were worried. "I don't care about what they'll say. What matters is what I know. What's the truth. And that I'm happy."

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**January 15; 05:19PM**

_(You have one new message. To reply immediately, press 1 after the message. To delete, press 2.)_

_Hey Mikan-chan! Anna here. You're scaring me, you know? We've been visiting you for three school days everyday after school and you're not opening the door. We don't know if you're out or if you're sick. Please just tell us an answer. Please, please, please. If it will ease your mind, we can bake a chocolate again. Just like last December. Please. Just please. Call me back, okay? I miss you so much! Love you!_

Anna's cookies slash pastries slash chocolates always make my day better. But the thought of it now wasn't that appealing as it was before. And it left a bad after-taste in my mouth as well. Trying to shake the thought away, I clicked number 2.

**;_;**

"So you're official, huh?" Nonoko asked while whisking the egg whites. We were baking some chocolates and pastries for our class for the upcoming Christmas Party. I was also going to bake some for the Overly Tall Freako, of course.

"No." I shook my head, my cheeks turning pink. "But... Well... He told me he loves me."

"We all know about that." Permy and her signature eye roll again. "Who wouldn't know when he told you _that_ in the middle of our practice? So there, news go baboom! You know our co-cheerleaders. They gossip like how mice wanted to eat cheese so badly."

I could feel my face burn. I continued stirring the half-melted chocolate bar on the mixing bowl above the pan with hot boiling water seated on the stove. "Umm... But he didn't ask me to be his anything. But..." Too many but's! "I love him as well, anyway."

Permy wolf-whistled. "Be careful, Mikan. You might never know."

"What are you talking about?"

"The number 13 that Misaki-senpai told us!" She reminded me and a knot formed on my stomach. "He might be... dangerous. Or... I don't know what to think..."

I didn't answer, I remained passively melting the chocolate bar.

**-xXxXx-**

"Should we tell Mikan?" I stopped walking when I heard my name. My heart thudded audibly on my chest, I was afraid it would leap out.

"I don't know." Anna murmured, her voice wary.

"We should. As a friend, we should." Permy's confident voice silenced all of them.

"Why don't you guys say it already?" Hotaru commented. "She's here." They gasped. "Mikan, I heard you. I know you're out there. Come on in."

I forced my frozen feet to move. I opened the gate and was looking at them blankly. "What is it?" I murmured weakly.

Anna and Nonoko looked down, avoiding my stare. Permy was debating with herself whether or not she should tell me. Hotaru just sat there quietly looking at me with wary eyes.

"Mikan," Permy started. "We saw... Natsume..."

"I saw him as well."

"No." Permy shook her head. "Under the bleachers... He was..." My heart was torn apart. I knew what was coming next, but I couldn't accept it. "...kissing Wakako-senpai." Wakako-senpai is one of our senior cheerleaders.

Both my heart and my body dropped to the floor.

"Mikan-chan!" Anna and Nonoko came to my side in a second.

My world fell apart.

**-xXxXx-**

"Are you avoiding me again?" He questioned me the moment I got into the cheerleader's practice zone.

"I really don't want to talk about it here, Natsume." I muttered low and quick as I made my way to the bleachers to put my things down.

"And why not?" He pressed the subject, making me wish I hadn't attended the practice. School is over for December but we had to do one last rehearsal. And the Basketball team had one last practice as well.

I eyed him and then turned my gaze to all the other people around us. Some of them were obviously gawking at us.

He then dragged me to their locker rooms. "NATSUME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! SERINA-SENSEI WILL KILL ME IF I'M LATE!"

He pinned me to the wall with both of his arms trapping me in. "Now talk."

"You and Wakako-senpai were kissing." He blinked a few times after I said that. "Under the bleachers."

He didn't say anything. _Damn it, Natsume! Say something!_

"What does that mean?" I asked, but he didn't answer. Instead, he tipped my head and claimed me again with a kiss. I wanted to cry. With just one kiss, all my anger vanishes away. His other hand was stroking my back. It was going lower, lower, lower. Oh my God, I broke the kiss and forcedfully shoved him. "What the hell, Natsume?!"

"You were asking what we were doing under the bleachers. I thought I'd give you a demonstration." My heart broke again and again with this side of him that I just knew.

"Damn it, Natsume. I wasn't asking for it!" I exasperated.

"Right there." He shot back and rolled his eye at me. "You weren't asking for it. And she was asking for it. I'm not stingy to not give her what she asked when I could give it to her."

My breathing became shallow as he tried to explain. _No!_

"Come on, shorty." He ran his fingers through his messy hair. "We both know you wanted it. That's why you were staring at me your first day in practice. I saw you. And the way you blush around. It's no big deal. I could give it to you."

"You said you love me." I pacified myself. I was giving myself enough reason to trust him and to not go berserk at this side of him. I was thinking I could make him change.

"Well, yeah. I did say that. That was quite a good strategy, you know. Wakako-senpai suddenly threw herself at me. Damn, that ass."

I slapped him, my tears fell rapidly on my face. "You know what, you're a jerk!" I screamed on top of my lungs and threw the chocolates at him. "I shouldn't have baked that damn chocolate!"

I ran away and didn't attend to practice. I called Misaki-senpai and tried to tell her I was sick.

* * *

**January 15; 05:26PM**

_(You have one new message. To reply immediately, press 1 after the message. To delete, press 2.)_

_Mikan, if I were a barbaric person, I could've cursed you to hell right now. Come the fuck out of your house and talk to us. You're not solving anything by locking yourself up. This is your so-called bestfriend who you don't give a shit right now. That sounded so barbaric, but you made me do it. Call me._

I cringed at the phone before clicking delete. I must've made Hotaru so angry for her to cuss at me. She doesn't curse, there were only a few times I heard her. And it wasn't pleasant.

**;_;**

"Leave me alone." I managed to sound as intimidating as I could.

"Hey, I knew it was wrong, okay?" He tried to make an apology. "I could make up for it. I'm sorry, okay? Talk to me."

I stood there with my head hanging low. He tried to raise my head but I firmly kept it that way.

"I'm so sorry, baby." He kissed my head. "I'll wait for you after practice."

"Fuck off, Hyuuga." Hotaru suddenly cursed. My head snapped up. I stared at her. "You are one big jackass. You hurt her by saying those things, and now you're trying to be nice? What game are you playing?"

"Why are you butting in?"

"Because you're pissing me off."

"Don't piss on your skirt just because I'm too hot in front of you, woman."

"Fuck you."

"A lot of girls would like to." With one last look at me, he muttered. "Come meet me later."

_What should I do?_

* * *

**January 15; 05:32PM**

_(You have one new message. To reply immediately, press 1 after the message. To delete, press 2.)_

_I know you're thinking about what everyone said about you. Yoy know the truth Mikan! Why don't you stand up and clear yourself? Are you that afraid of them? You're just making them assume things with your disappearance at school! Idiot._

I cried then. I pressed number 2.

**;_;**

I went to the said place. I was waiting for him for ten minutes but he wasn't there yet. Where did he go?

"Mikan?" I heard a voice quite familiar.

"Yes?" A tall guy emerged from the darkness on the other side of the building. He's one of the Basketball players. He had black long hair that reached past his shoulders. I almost thought he was a girl for a moment there.

"Hi."

"Uh, hi." I murmured. This is the first time we talked to each other. "Um, is Natsume coming?"

He shrugged and walked towards me. I suddenly felt very small. "I was actually going to talk to you..."

"About?" I felt nervous, my hair was almost standing on its roots.

"I... I... Uh... Like you."

"What?"

"I've started liking you even before you joined the Cheering Squad. I always see you walking around with that smile..." His long hair hid his face. I don't know what to say.

He walked again and stopped in front of me. What to do? "Sorry, I... Uh..."

Before I knew it, he leaned down and kissed me. Then there was a blinding flash. It was like deja vu. But this time, it felt creepy. I was scared.

"Mikan," My eyes widened upon hearing that voice. I didn't even hear him walk towards me. Natsume stood there, his face showed that he was upset with what he saw. I looked on the other side when I heard some footsteps running. Those who have photographed the scene ran away.

I don't know what to do.

"Err, sorry Natsume. I was... about to leave." With that, the guy dashed away.

"Mikan," He called me by my name again. He took steps moving forward to meet me. I was so afraid that I ran away, not even glancing at him.

**-xXxXx-**

I looked down on my lunch, trying my very best to ignore all those faces everyone was giving me.

"Right. She was kissing somebody else."

"And to think it would be Tono-senpai from the Basketball team as well!" _I don't even know his name! _I wanted to shout.

"The nerve of this girl!"

"What a bitch. Natsume apologized and she was caught kissing with another guy?"

"Define slut: Mikan Sakura." I heard them laugh.

Hotaru was about to stand up but I held her hand. She looked at me with her angry face. I shook my head at her. "Don't. Please." I plead. She sighed, but didn't do anything.

"It was a trap, Mikan. You know it was a trap."

"No, Hotaru. Please. Don't say anything anymore."

**-xXxXx-**

There was a crowd on our practice area. It was best to avoid it, but Permy was so intrigued she dragged me 'til we get to the innermost circle of the crowd. There was this slender and tall girl who was wearing a uniform I don't recognize. Her hair was black and reached past her shoulders.

"Whoa she's sexy." Permy admired.

She wasn't alone in the middle. Wakako-senpai was there with her red cheek. She was covering it with both of her hands while gazing menacingly at the girl.

"You bitch!" The unknown girl hissed with venom on her voice. "How dare you feel my boyfriend, huh? So you give free fuck? What a slut!" With that, she tried to slap Wakako-senpai again. Wakako-senpai dodged a few paces behind.

They glared daggers into each other.

She saw me then. It was like a nightmare. I thought I was having a nightmare that I pinched myself. She marched to where I was standing and her palm came in contact with my cheek. It stung. I clutched my cheek and stared blankly at her.

"You as well! Who the hell do you think you are? Making my boyfriend chase after you? Are you playing hard-to-get? What the fuck? To make him fall head-over-heels in love with you? Pathetic creature!" She spat on my face, I felt like crying. "What's with all of you cheerleaders slutting over my boyfriend?" She grabbed my chin and forced me to look in her eyes. My knees were jelly. "Know this fact: Natsume Hyuuga is mine. I'm her girlfriend, Luna Koizumi from Z Academy."

"Luna?" That familiar voice growled, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Taking care of the bitches you can't dispose." She snapped.

I fell to the ground when she let go of my chin, my thoughts and feelings spiraling out of control.

"Mikan!" I heard Permy's voice before my world turned into a sea of darkness.

I woke up in the infirmary and Permy was sleeping on the couch. I got up and left without her knowing.

* * *

**January 15; 05:43PM**

_(You have three new messages. To reply immediately, press 1 after each message. To delete, press 2.)_

_Message 1: Mikan, don't let them throw your life away! Pssh, you're already a hag but you'll look like a real one if you just hide there forever!_

Sumire made me shed more tears. I pressed delete while reaching for that small bottle that lay on top of my desk. I watched it intently while listening to the next message.

_Message 2: Dummy, I hate you. I've sent you over a hundred voicemails, and what do I get? A fucking silent treatment. Damn it. I've never been like this even when Nogi forgot our date. I should charge you for this. We'll be there in a few minutes! I'm bringing police over. I'm not joking._

Ruka Nogi: Hotaru's boyfriend. I must've worried her so much. I felt so stupid. But this was my choice. I clicked number 2. I shook the bottle and watched the liquid inside swirl gently.

_Message 3: We're outside your house, dummy. Open up, or I'll make the policeman blow up your lock._

I pressed delete.

"Mikan!" I heard several voices outside my door and some banging.

_This better be quick._ I opened the bottle and gulped the contents quickly.

"Ma'am?" _Holy._ Hotaru really brought a policeman!

"Yes, please blast the lock." Hotaru commanded.

My head was spinning by now. I reached for my small letter, scanning it with my last few moments. It was getting harder to breathe. I did not fight it, but my own reflexes were there, so I was breathing harshly, trying to get more oxygen to my body. I fell to my back, closing my eyes as my vision blurred and hurt my head.

I heard several gunshots and then my door was open. Footsteps running and wild screams.

My consciousness was slipping away, inch by inch, second by second...

"Call an ambulance!" I couldn't distinguish who was who anymore.

"Shit! Mikan!"

"What did she drink?"

"Must be from that bottle over there. What does it say?"

"Nothing. It's just a bottle. No descriptions."

"Did someone call an ambulance?!"

"Yes, yes! I'm calling!"

"Fuck."

"Come on, Mikan!"

Why? Why? _Why...?_

* * *

**January 15; 06:04PM**

"She's dead." One of the medics broke the bad news to them. Anna and Nonoko were sobbing while hugging each other. Permy was crying there.

"There was one unread voicemail that just came five minutes ago." The policeman called, making Hotaru turn to him.

Hotaru had turned into an icy statue when she saw her bestfriend lying helplessly on the floor. She knew they were too late and she wanted to cry. But even though she wanted to, tears just won't flow. But her chest ached so much.

_(You have one new message. To reply immediately, press 1 after the message. To delete, press 2.)_

_Sorry. I know I'm too late into saying this to you, but I'm sorry. I thought you were also like all those girls who would give me what I want so I played with you. I feel quite terrible. But... Yeah, sorry. Don't call me back. I just wanted to tell you that. Hope to see you soon._

When the message was finished, that was when Hotaru broke down.

* * *

**January 15; 06:15PM**

"We need to submit this photograph of the note and file it as suicide case. Are you okay now, kids? I've called your parents. They're coming here shortly. Do you want me to wait with you?"

"No thank you." Hotaru briskly said while looking at the note left by her bestfriend with her messy handwriting.

"Okay. Don't do the same, kids. Life is precious."

**Dear people reading this,**

**The reason you're reading this is because probably, by now, I'm cold and spent.**

**I wanted to say thank you to those who were willing to stick up with me through everything. Even if I had so many flaws, even if I wasn't a genius, even if I wasn't rich... You still made my world a lot better.**

**I wanted to apologize. I know I hurt you all in some ways I cannot fathom on how to ask for forgiveness. I had been hard to deal with. I was stubborn. I was pathetic.**

**I am so sorry.**

**I just got to say this. Why? Why do we cheerleaders always get the bad part in the stories? We're human beings as well! We have feelings, too! So when a guy (no matter who it is! Even if it' a basketball player, a baseball player, an idiot or whoever it is) tells us they love us, and we know in our hearts that we do love them, too... We respond to them. That's nature. So why are you stereotyping us, huh? What did we cheerleaders do to you? I get it. Maybe you've had some bad experiences dealing with some of the cheering squad. Maybe some of them was what you guys call it: A slut or a bitch.**

**But do you know the story behind it? Do you know why they turned out to be like that? No! So stop saying as if you knew everything! Because actually, you people who watch on the sidelines and gossip about other people knows nothing!**

**Who knows what happened to them? What if they get cheated on? And that was their coping mechanism. And you didn't help them bring back their own self with just saying "You're a slut" to their face. You people worsened it.**

**Guess what? I was a cheerleader.**

**I was called a bitch and a slut, too.**

**But do you know why? No, you don't. So stop judging me as if you know everything! If you do, congratulations!**

**I hope this will become a lesson to everyone. Stop with the judgmental attitude. So what if she's blonde? That doesn't mean she's dumb. So what if she has black skin? It's not allergy! So what if she is sexy? Does that mean she played on so many boys to get that body?**

**No.**

**Please. This is my last wish.**

**Stop generalizing people with your narrow minds.**

**Thank you and sorry,**

**Mikan Sakura**

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**I was having a bad day at work. I was assigned to the dining area so I have to clean there and some people just don't have manners and they leave their trash there. -_- It's Darts Weekend here, so there are bleachers and they're watching the Darts game on the big screen. And this story popped on my mind. :)) I hope it broke your heart. LOL.**

**I'm guessing some might say SEQUEL. HAHAHA. I'm thinking about 'Confessions of a Basketball Player' or something. Though I still don't know. HAHAHA. I'm a totally random person when it comes to my stories, so... OTL**

**Please leave a review. ;) Thanks!**

**Have a nice day, loves. x**

**_~ Shuffle Princess_ (03-10-13; 03:38AM)**


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